Search Results for "witch"
Share July 02, 2011's comic on:
Woman: Let's begin the meeting, but be aware that I'm documenting all of your bullying behavior. Dilbert: Um... I'm not even close to being a bully, but now your confirmation bias will make everything I say sound like bullying to you. Woman: Can you repeat the part after you implied that I'm a delusional witch?
Share May 22, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert walks next to a woman and thinks, "I can't believe she agreed to have dinner with me." In the restaurant, Dilbert pulls out the woman's chair and thinks, "I'm afraid to say anything to spoil this moment . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I guess I should say something to break the ice." The woman asks, "Did I mention that I'm a witch?"
Share May 23, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a restaurant table with a woman. The woman says, "Thanks for asking me out. Most guys get scared when they find out I'm a practicing witch." The woman continues, "Then they say something I don't like and I end up turning them into lawn ornaments." Dilbert replies, "That's awful!" The woman says, "Tell me about it . . . you can't believe how tacky my lawn is now."
Share May 25, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert asks Dilbert, "You're back early. How was your date?" Dilbert, who has been turned into a frog, replies, "Not so good . . . She's a witch . . . Turned me into a frog." Dilbert says, "Oooh! When I think about it I just get so . . . So . . ." Dogbert asks, "Hopping mad?"
Share August 14, 1990's comic on:
Share August 15, 1990's comic on:
A witch sitting on a throne points at Dilbert and yells, "Fool! Why have you come to the accounting department?!!" Dilbert is wrapped in chains and guarded by a troll holding a spear. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . I had some questions, sir . . . Ma'am . . . Er, sir?" Dilbert asks, "Are you a man or woman?" The witch replies, "In accounting, it doesn't really matter."
Share August 16, 1990's comic on:
Witch: So... You've come to the accounting department for an explanation of the budget report, aye? Unchain him, Bradley. Normally we would torture and kill you for questioning our report. Dilbert: But you realized that my questions are valid? Witch: No. I'm promoting Bradley. You're my new analyst.
Share August 20, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert: Great... Not only am I being forced to work in the accounting department, but I'm slowly turning into a troll. Wait a minute... This is the budget for the accounting department itself... What happens if I erase it? Bradley: Boss!!? Boss!!? Witch: Help me! I'm melting! Aaagh!!
Share June 27, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home with food stuck to his suit. Dogbert asks, "How was your lunch with the executive vice president?" Dilbert sits in his chair and says, "Everything was fine until the food fight. He started throwing au gratin potatoes . . . I countered with an ear of corn to his head and ran for the exit." Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "When I left, he was face-down in the clam chowder and the kitchen staff was singing 'ding-dong the witch is dead.'"
Share July 03, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert stands in front of the judge's bench and says, "I call my garbage man to the stand, because he knows everything." The garbage man sits in the witness stand and says, "According to the Iowa Corn Treaty of 1837, it is LEGAL to kill a man with an ear of corn under two conditions . . ." The garbage man continues, "One: if the victim is a witch or two: if he owns a poodle." Dogbert says, "For my next witness, I call 'Fifi.'"