Search Results for "viruses"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #firewall down, #viruses, #spyware, #tuberculosis, #zombies, #deposed dictator, #iphone 3gs, #army of mole people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our firewall is down. Some bad stuff is getting through. Boss: How bad? Dilbert: So far we've seen viruses, spyware, tuberculosis, zombies, a deposed dictator, and an iPhone 3GS. Update: an army of mole people from another dimension has tunneled through. Boss: Keep me informed.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2012's comic on:


Tags #lunch date, #not attracted, #technoloigy, #only like tech, #people are creepy, #delivery system, #viruses, #germs, #picture, #photoshop, #people hater

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Wally, do you want to go to lunch? Wally: No, thanks. I"m a digisexual now. Tina: What: Wally: I'm no longer attracted to people. I only like technology. People creep me out. You're basically a delivery system for viruses, germs, and unreasonable favor requests. I'm willing to take a picture of you, but that's as far as I'll go. Tina: This is the most disturbing conversation I've ever had. Wally: Thank goodness for Photoshop.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2002's comic on:


Tags #computer viruses, #power cord, #spinal adjustment, #skeptical, #anecdotal evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says into the telephone, "What can I do to avoid getting computer viruses?" On the other end of the line, Dogbert replies, "Give your power cord a spinal adjustment once a week to prevent disease." The woman is adjusting her power cord. She says aloud, "I was skeptical until he said there's anecdotal evidence that it works!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #antivirus software, #secretly create viruses, #detected by software, #spooky, #underhanded, #sneaky, #criminal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our company is going to make antivirus software. What's that tell you? CatBert: It tells me we'll secretly create viruses that can be detected only by our software. Catbert: Am I close? The Boss: You're spooky.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #honesty, #viruses, #honest opinions, #causing problems, #medical records, #engineer, #classified as disease, #vaccination, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I can't stop voicing my honest opinions. It's causing problems at work." Doctor says, "According to your medical records, you're an engineer. We classify that as a disease now." Man says, "Gaaa!!! You haven't had your pon farr vaccination." Dilbert says, "Is it warm in here?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2011's comic on:


Tags #fear, #terrorists, #viruses, #elbonian kidnappers, #refused ransom pay, #stockholm syndrome, #identifying with captors, #beating up, #contagious

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I thought my Elbonian kidnappers would hold me forever because you refused to pay the ransom." Asok says, "Then the Stockholm effect kicked in. I started identifying with my captors and beating myself." The Boss says, "And they let you go?" Asok says, "Apparently it looked contagious."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #viruses, #piranha flu, #sneezes, #bad allergies

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I've got a wicked case of piranha flu. Ted: I've never heard of... Carol: Ahchooo!!! I should probably tell people I just have bad allergies.