Search Results for "the entire world"
Share September 03, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Today I realized I hate everyone in the entire world." Dilbert continues, "I used to think I might like some people I hadn't met. But now I think they're weasels too." Dogbert asks, "How about a wide-eyed and innocent child who loves you unconditionally?" Dilbert responds, "Tiny weasels."
Share June 02, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Ming, "Ming, everyone says our website is ugly." Ming replies, "Really? Every person on earth said that? Even Tibetan monks?" The Boss meekly answers, "Maybe it was just one person." Ming asked, "And you confused him with the entire planet?"
Share December 23, 2005's comic on:
"This PowerPoint slide could change our entire company strategy." "The rest of the industry would have to copy us, and that could change the entire world!" "Someone has been having delusions of effectiveness."
Share October 02, 2010's comic on:
Man says, "Our ad campaign will portray users of our competitor's products as baby-eating hobos." Man says, "While our users will be portrayed by the coolest guy in the entire world." Soon the meeting turned ugly Alice says, "Then why are you showing a slide of a giant @$$#%*?"
Share July 22, 2013's comic on:
Dogbert: I invented a digital currency that I call "bitcoin." Soon I will control all of the money in the entire world. Bushahaha! Dilbert: Maybe you should hide your identity. Dogbert: Maybe you should kiss my wagger.
Share April 02, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: Every time I have an idea for a new app, I discover that ten people already created something just like it. As the population of the world increases, the potential value of every idea I have approaches zero. Dogbert: So, it's the entire world's fault that you have unoriginal ideas? Dilbert: Why does your agreeing sound like mocking?
Share April 21, 1996's comic on:
A man says to Dilbert, "Yo, Dil-man!" Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's Ken from sales." Ken says, "I told our biggest customers how great our next product will be. Now nobody will buy our current product." Ken asks, "When will the new version be available?" Dilbert replies, "In a year or two." Ken looks shocked. Ken says, "Hmm . . . I seem to have single-handedly destroyed an entire product line." Ken continues, "Luckily our biggest competitor is hiring sales people. And I'm betting THEY'LL have brisk sales this year! Commissions galore!" Dilbert thinks, "If there's justice in this world, the idiots will be punished . . ." Dilbert thinks, ". . . Before they get promoted." The Boss tells Dilbert, "Um . . . We need the new version by Tuesday."
Share July 19, 2011's comic on:
Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Dilbert: None. Woman: The world has judged you. Dilbert: It's as if I don't exist! Dogbert: For a ghost, you do a good job of blocking the TV.
Share November 20, 2011's comic on:
Boss: I hired a world-class inventor. Meet Toby. When he worked for our competitor, he invented their coolest product. Toby: I was just a member of a team. Boss: A key member! Toby: Until they fired me for stealing. Wally: You came to the right place. We have tons of stuff to steal and no one ever gets caught! Toby: Give me a high five with a boss head in the middle! Noise: SLAP! Toby: That's the only thing I ever invented. Wally: Have you seen our storage closet?
Share November 30, 2011's comic on:
Carol: I manually entered all of the employee data you wanted. It took the entire weekend. Boss: I probably should have told you I no longer need it. Carol: Die! Die! Die! You inconsiderate monster! Boss: Did you really enter all of the data? Carol: Maybe. Let's call it a tie.