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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bench mark results, #ten minute explination, #in sales, #here you go

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"Dilbert, do you have the bench-mark results?" "Do you want the ten-minute explanation of why the data are useless, or a simple "Here you go"?" "I'm in sales." "Here you go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #item, #vacation, #increments, #regular, #work, #days, #vacations, #avoid, #assignments, #minutes, #cough, #better, #take, #some, #sick, #time

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Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Ted, can you explain number two?" Ted replies, "No. I'm on vacation." Ted explains, "I take my vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days. That way I can avoid assignments." Dilbert says, "Your ten minutes are up." Ted coughs and says, "Whoa, I'd better take some sick time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1993's comic on:


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Dilbert sits in a meeting. The speaker says, "Let's take a ten-minute break." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "I've got to use the restroom and get back before all the mingle groups have solidified." Dilbert stands in the bathroom and thinks, "Uh no, it's an air dryer, an unexpected delay!" Dilbert returns to the room and thinks, "I'm too late. All the minglers have formed impenetrable groups." Dilbert thinks, "I'll pretend to study the agenda so it looks like I have a reason to be alone." Dilbert thinks, "Everybody knows it doesn't take this long to read an agenda. Now what do I do??" Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead and he tugs on his tie. He thinks, "I've got to stand here alone, totally non-mingled, for five more minutes." Dilbert arrives at home looking disheveled. Dogbert asks, "Tough day at work?" Dilbert replies, "Just the breaks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #annoyed, #angry, #put off work, #information, #time, #broomstick, #witch

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Dilbert says, "Sorry, I didn't have time to get the information you asked for." Woman says, "You're saying that for an entire week, every single thing you did was more important than my ten-minute request?" Dilbert says, "Yes, but the way I said it doesn't make me think of a broomstick."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #walkways, #minute, #meeting, #walk and talk, #barely concentrate, #prove underling wrong, #business

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Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #new app, #ten people created something, #population increases, #potentail value, #enter world, #unoriginal ideas, #agreeing

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Dilbert: Every time I have an idea for a new app, I discover that ten people already created something just like it. As the population of the world increases, the potential value of every idea I have approaches zero. Dogbert: So, it's the entire world's fault that you have unoriginal ideas? Dilbert: Why does your agreeing sound like mocking?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #doctor, #Dilbert, #sale, #price, #discount, #cash, #ten, #days

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Dilbert sits on an examining table in a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Normally I'd give you six months to live." The physician continues, "But we're having a '50% off sale' today, so I'll give you a full year for the same price." Dilbert lies back on the table. The doctor says, "And you get an extra ten days if you pay cash!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #racket, #singing, #greens, #blues, #darned, #depressing, #slept, #ten, #minutes

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Dogbert sits on his pillow playing a guitar. Dilbert asks, "What's all the racket?" Dogbert replies, "I'm singing the 'greens.'" Dilbert asks, "Is that like the 'blues?'" Dogbert replies, "Same beat, just not so darned depressing." Dogbert sings, "Oooh . . . My car needs a tune up and I overslept ten minutes baaabee . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #994, #ten thousand, #Lottery, #winners, #bug, #me

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A man stands at the counter in "Burger Queen." The sign over the counter advertises a "99 cent special." The man says to the person behind the cash register, "Only 99 cents?!! Ha ha ha!! Give me ten thousand of them! For HERE!!" Dogbert stands behind the man thinking, "These lottery winners are really starting to bug me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #museum, #amazing, #engineer, #computer, #induced, #trance, #ten, #cents, #dollar

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Dogbert approaches Dilbert sitting at a desk. Dogbert says to the man and woman following him, "This exhibit is the pride of 'Dogbert's Museum of the Strange and Amazing.'" Dogbert continues, "This is an engineer, deep in a computer-induced trance and oblivious to his environment." Dogbert holds out a container of balls and says, "You can bop him in the back of his head with whiffle balls for ten cents a throw." The man gets out his wallet and says, "Gimme a dollar's worth."