Search Results for "suggestions"
Share January 24, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Why don't you change this box to say "virtual"? Dilbert: Because I don't want it to look like it was written by an ignorant blob in an ugly wool suit. You probably shouldn't put your suggestions in the form of questions.
Share May 07, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: We interviewed hundreds of users and turned all of their suggestions into features. As it turns out, every user we talked to was an idiot, and their dumb suggestions ruined our product. In hindsight, we probably should have talked to people who work outside this building.
Share June 07, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Stop telling Tina how to do her job. You're not her boss. Dilbert: I was just helping out because her boss has his priorities all backward. Boss: She reports to me. Dilbert: I'll email your boss some suggestions for fixing you.
Share December 13, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Creative Design. A man points to materials and says, "Each team has one hour to design and build a mock-up using these common materials." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: doesn't this sort of exercise usually get dominated by the worst team member?" The Boss responds, "Don't worry, we can just ignore Alice's suggestions." Alice clenches her teeth in anger.
Share December 30, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Make your 'Power-point' presentation so boring that our CEO will slip into trance." The Boss continues, "Then I'll whisper to him subliminal suggestions to increase our budget." The CEO is asleep. The Boss whispers, "More budget." On the other side of the CEO, Wally whispers, "Kill the pointy-haired monster."
Share December 27, 2012's comic on:
Catbert: I got a report that you've been bullying co-workers. Dilbert: That's dumb. I make friendly suggestions about how people could waste less of my time and it looks like bullying. Catbert: Let's schedule a time to talk more about this. Dilbert: Or-- just a friendly suggestion-- you could not waste my freakin' time.
Share October 29, 2007's comic on:
"What didn't you use any of my suggestions?" Dilbert: "My thoery is that your brain is the size of a marble, and twice as smooth." "The root cause probably involves slow learners mating for many generations."
Share December 24, 2007's comic on:
Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"
Share September 30, 2011's comic on:
Boss: Thanks for the suggestion, Asok. I'm going to ignore it because you're not important to my career and I don't like doing extra work. Asok: I'm confused. Why do you have an open-door policy? Boss: How can you leave if the door isn't open?
Share December 26, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm thinking of getting a tattoo." Dilbert continues, "On my shoulder . . . Something tasteful yet timeless. I don't want to regret it later." Dilbert asks, "Any suggestions?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'Kick me?'"