Search Results for "report"
Share December 09, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Did you finish your assignment? Wally: Yes, but Elbonian hackers deleted my report along with all of my backups. Boss: I have no way of knowing that's true. Wally: It was an amazing report! Better than you've ever seen.
Share October 07, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert arrives home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I got transferred to the Glickman Nuclear Power Project." Dogbert asks, "Aren't you worried about radiation?" Dilbert replies, "My boss says the last safety inspection was quite favorable." Dogbert asks, "What were his EXACT words?" Dilbert answers, ". . . The inspectors gave a glowing report." Dogbert says, "Maybe you'll mutate into something smarter."
Share August 14, 1990's comic on:
Share August 16, 1990's comic on:
Witch: So... You've come to the accounting department for an explanation of the budget report, aye? Unchain him, Bradley. Normally we would torture and kill you for questioning our report. Dilbert: But you realized that my questions are valid? Witch: No. I'm promoting Bradley. You're my new analyst.
Share November 05, 1990's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Don't worry. If it's true that an impostor is trying to steal your job, I'll get rid of him at once." Dilbert points at a man with an eyepatch, a mohawk haircut and clothes like Dilbert's. Dilbert says, "There he is! And he doesn't even look like me!" The robber replies, "I finished the report." Dilbert says, "There's only room for one Dilbert!!" The Boss reads the report and says, "But this one actually produced something . . ."
Share February 20, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert floats through the house with a propeller strapped to his back. He says into the phone, "CBS News? Yes, I'd like to call a press conference to announce my anti-gravity discovery . . ." Dilbert says into the telephone, "Science isn't news?! But you did that investigative report on suntan lotion last year . . ." Dilbert says, "No, I don't think I could do the interview in a string bikini."
Share April 14, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: I agreed to ship Project 'Dewdrop' to some customers for beta testing. Dilbert: Didn't you read my test report? Dewdrop explodes when you plug it in. The Boss: we'll limit the beta trial to friendly customers. Dilbert: we killed all the friendly ones with project ducky.
Share July 04, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: Here's my daily project status report. Morale is low. There is talk of mutiny. we dream of quitting and becoming lifeguards on "Baywatch" Death to the pointy haired one. The Boss: Holy Cow! "Baywatch' is hiring??!
Share August 15, 1994's comic on:
"Hey, Matt. How's our favorite management fast-tracker?" "Great! I've got two minutes to deliver my big report to our CEO. Can you tell me where the fax is?" "Oops, I'm wrong. That's the shredder." "He'll go far in this company." "Bzzzzp."
Share August 29, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: "I want all of you to prepare reports explaining why your jobs shouldn't be outsourced to consultants." "It is my job to write this report. But if I were a consultant it would make no sense to compare me to myself. Outsourcing is illogical." "For some reason, I'm not taking as much pride in my work lately."