Search Results for "put down"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1999's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmom opens her door to two policemen holding guns. Cop one says, "We have a report that you threatened to kill a computer manufacturer." Dilbert's mom pionts to the computer and says, "It freezes up five times a day. I have to unplug it to turn it off." The cops put down their guns. Cop 1 says, "Okay, we're with you. When's it going down?" Dilmom says, "Is tuesday good?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dog, #financial planner, #troglodyte, #Advice, #soften up, #meeting, #insult, #yell, #scream, #put down

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the financial planner Dogbert: Investing is far too complicated for your tiny brain. You are a financial troglodytle!!!" Man: Do I get some advice now? Dogbert: No, our first meeting is just to soften you up.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2001's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks, "Do you want to hear what I'm doing at work?" Dilbert's mom is holding a plant. She replies, "Not so much." Dilbert says, "You're supposed to act interested because you're my mother." His mom replies, "Well..." Her voice continues, "I'm not saying you're boring, it's just that everything you talk about is boring." Dilbert says, "That's the same as saying I'm boring." Dilbert's mom is watering a plant. She responds, "Only when you talk." Dilbert asks, "But you care about me, right? When I hurt, you hurt?" Dilbert's mom has put down her plant. She says, "Actually, the electrical impulses in your brain don't fly across the air gap to my brain." She continues, "You could be writhing in agony and I wouldn't feel a thing." Dilbert looks down and says, "Ouch." Dilbert's picks up her plant again and says, "air gap."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2007's comic on:


Tags #contract changes, #last month, #negotiate, #not authorized, #hope to wear you down

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "You didn't make any of the contract changes we agreed on last month." Ted: "That's how I negotiate." "I'm not authorized to make any changes to the contract." "And the executives who have that power will think I'm not doing my job if I ask them to do it." "So I agree to everything you ask, then I don't put any of it in the contract." "Over the course of several months I hope to wear you down and make you sign the contract as is." Dilbert: "Can you at least change section three the way I asked? Ted: "Sure. No problem." "I'll see you in a month."

Turn Down Service

Thank you for voting.
Turn Down Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #pun, #wordplay, #hotel, #turn-down

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'd like to decline your turn-down service tonight so I can have some privacy. Voice: We're going to do it anyway. Good luck finding your stuff after we randomly move it. Dilbert: What? You can't do that! I hereby turn down your turn down of your turn-down service! Voice: Say goodbye to your phone charger!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #economic policy, #utax incentives, #projects, #tax savings, #executive bonuses, #stimulate economy, #trickle on your heads, #trickle down theory, #poker night

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We've decided to use the new tax incentives on the projects we were going to do anyway." The Boss says, "The tax savings will go toward executive bonuses, which stimulate the economy via the 'trickle on your heads' theory." Alice says, "It's called the 'trickle down' theory." The Boss says, "Not on poker night."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #act nervous, #air travel, #airport security, #guards, #more invasive, #new pat down, #procedures, #situations, #sleeper cell, #terrorits, #tsa, #molestation

View Transcript

Transcript

Airport Security Man says, "Step over here, sleeper cell." Man says, "Our new pat down procedures might be more invasive than you're used to." Man says, "Only terrorists act nervous in these situations." Airport Security

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #firewall down, #viruses, #spyware, #tuberculosis, #zombies, #deposed dictator, #iphone 3gs, #army of mole people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our firewall is down. Some bad stuff is getting through. Boss: How bad? Dilbert: So far we've seen viruses, spyware, tuberculosis, zombies, a deposed dictator, and an iPhone 3GS. Update: an army of mole people from another dimension has tunneled through. Boss: Keep me informed.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #computers & peripherals, #office equipment, #servers down, #holdup, #iterated by idiot, #guard door, #don't see guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The servers are down. Dilbert: I know. Boss: You should do something about it. Dilbert: I'm trying. Boss: What's the holdup? Dilbert: I keep getting interrupted by an unhelpful idiot. Boss: Maybe I can help. I'll guard your doorway and keep that guy away from you. This is boring. And I don't see that guy. Have I managed enough for now? Dilbert: You nailed it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #executive program, #relocate, #vindictive, #stress, #loser, #turn down opportunity, #train, #discomfort, #underlings

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You've been selected for our executive development program. That means we can make you relocate to any godforsaken dirt stain we want. As soon as you make friends or find romance, we'll move you to someplace new and worse. It won't be the sort of work you'll enjoy, and the stress might kill you. If you turn down this opportunity, the company will forever label you as a loser. If you accept the offer, the company will train you to find pleasure in the discomfort of your underlings. I'm doing it right now! Dilbert: I HATE MY LIFE!!! Boss: Yes, yes, say more.