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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #complain about work load, #ounce of prevention, #pound of assignments, #working day and night, #projects, #assignments, #deliverables, #must do items, #action items, #frie drills, #dog and pony shows, #glare problem

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Wally is leaned back in his chair sleeping. Wally awakens, looks at his wrist watch and thinks to himself, "It's time to complain about my workload." As Wally walks away from his desks, he thinks "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of asignments." Wally goes into the Boss' office to complain about his workload. He says to the Boss, "I'm working day and night!" Wally goes on to explain. "I've got projects, assignments, deliverables, tasks..." The Boss sits at his desk listening to Wally. Wally continues, "...must -do items, fire drills, and dog and pony shows." The Boss, having ignored everything Wally just said, hands Wally a piece of paper and says "Wally, I have an assignment for you." Wally is surprised. Back at his desk, Wally is again leaned back in his chair, faced covered with the piece of paper the Boss handed him earlier, as he thinks to himself, "I solved my glare problem."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #dog, #pound, #one, #phone, #call, #big, #ball, #demolition, #company

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Dogbert stands in a cage thinking, "No stupid dog pound can hold me for long." Dogbert yells to the dog catcher, "Hey, screw! Don't I get one phone call?!" Dogbert whispers into the telephone, "Hello, is this the Big Ball Demolition Company? . . . Good, I have a rush job for you . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #poodle, #nightfall, #pound, #incarceration, #dream sequence, #dangerous, #place

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Dogbert: Don't worry, killer, I'll get us out of this pound by nightfall. Poodle: How? Dogbert: I used my one phone call to call a wrecking company to destroy this place. Poodle: That sound dangerous to me. Coming up: A near-death experience or possibly just a stupid dream sequence.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dilbert's ego, #Dogbert, #pound, #pudding, #faint, #fable, #children's, #story, #insecurities

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Dilbert's Ego vs. His Insecurities Dilbert's Ego: C'mon, you coward. You may be big, but I'm going to pound you into pudding!! Dilbert's Insecurities: I'm going to faint. Dogbert: I don't think this will be a children's fable anytime soon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #item, #vacation, #increments, #regular, #work, #days, #vacations, #avoid, #assignments, #minutes, #cough, #better, #take, #some, #sick, #time

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Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Ted, can you explain number two?" Ted replies, "No. I'm on vacation." Ted explains, "I take my vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days. That way I can avoid assignments." Dilbert says, "Your ten minutes are up." Ted coughs and says, "Whoa, I'd better take some sick time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #transferred, #assignments, #management, #yanking, #chain, #over-communicating, #manager, #sales

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, you're being temporarily transferred to the field sales organization." The Boss continues, "Normally we use these assignments to round somebody out for management. But in this case I'm just yanking your chain!" Dilbert says, "You're over-communicating again, sir." The Boss continues, "Plus, I hate the manager of sales."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #mentoring, #matt, #business meeting, #assignments, #work

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Dilbert, Matt and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert tells Matt, "This is called a 'meeting.'" Dilbert explains, "The objective is twofold: talk as much as possible and leave with no new assignments." Dilbert and Matt leave the meeting. Matt carries a stack of folders. Dilbert pats him on the back and says, "That's okay . . . I thought your talking went very well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #all assignments, #big binder, #same building, #president, #good word, #two good words

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"Ratbert the consultant" "It looks like you've all done your assignments for me." "Your input is so important that I'll have it put in a big binder in stored in the same building that your president works!" "And I'll put in a good word for you when I meet with your boss later today." "Wink, thumbs up" "How about two good words?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #assignments by priority, #won't waste time, #unimportant stuff, #a priority, #personal life, #must do, #b priorities

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The Boss stands in front of Dilbert who is seated at his desk. The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "I ranked all of your assignments by priority so you won't waste time on unimportant stuff." Dilbert reads the document and says, "Everything is an 'A' priority except for 'Personal life.'" Dilbert says, "this helps a lot." The Boss says, "I'm still working on the list of 'Must do' 'B' priorities."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #alarmed, #rat floating, #mid air, #rendered invisible, #worthless assignments, #bad attitude, #quality meeting

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The Boss is surprised to see Ratbert hanging in midair. Ratbert says, "Don't be alarmed. I'm not really a rat floating in midair." Ratbert continues, "I'm clinging to the back of an employee who has been rendered invisible by a long succession of worthless assignments." The Boss comments, "Looks like an isolated case of bad attitude." Behind the Boss, a beaver is suspended in midair. The beaver asks, "Which room is the 'quality' meeting in?"