Search Results for "nick name for ceo"
Share July 16, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert answers his work phone, "Hi, this is Dilbert." The voice on the other end says, "Hi, I'm a business reporter for the Wall Times Post Gazette." The reporter says, "I'm doing a story about how dumb.. I mean dynamic... your new product line is." Dilbert comes home and tells Dogbert, "Then he promised not to print the amusing nickname I have for our CEO." Dogbert responds, "You are so dynamic."
Share June 23, 2005's comic on:
Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "You need to hire a big name CEO to get some buzz." "You want someone with a reputation for toughness, whoc kinows how toget the most out of people." "Come back later. I'm still getting the most out of this one."
Share February 04, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert's mother sits on the couch drinking tea and Dilbert sits on the chair across from her. Dilbert says, "I spent all week tweaking HTML for my Intranet Web page. You should see it, Mom." Dilbert continues, "I converted the video of my birth into an MPEG file. Anyone behind the fire wall can view it." Dilbert continues, "You should hear the nickname they have for you at work!" Dilbert's mother replies, "You should hear the one I have for you right now."
Share August 06, 2004's comic on:
carol: "Hey, mullet-head, this is for you." "What did you call me?" "Oops. I used the secret nickname that everyone in the office has for you." "My work here is done." "It's just a little long in the back!"
Share February 01, 2005's comic on:
The Boss: "Alice, did you call the director of human resources a "furry log"?" Alice: "Yes" The Boss: "I can't tell if you're promoting teamwork with a cute nickname or creating a hostile environment." "Which is it?" Alice: "It's teamwork, you squirrel-infested stump."
Share April 04, 2005's comic on:
Wally: I need a nickname to create the illutsion of competence.<Br>"I was thinking along the lines of "the wizard" or "info-guru."" I've never wanted to punch you more than at this very moment."
Share April 07, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert says, "Try this little trick to improve your career . . ." Dogbert continues, "Anytime you want something your way, simply refer to your CEO by his first name and say he gave you directions during your very recent meeting." Dogbert continues, "It's totally unverifiable. People will fear you and do as you say. You'll rule with an iron fist!" Dilbert responds, "You're a funny little dog."
Share June 12, 2007's comic on:
CEO Visit CEO: "My meetings go faster when I set the tone." "Opinions are treason." "Do you have any opinions, Doofy?"
Share December 09, 2013's comic on:
CEO: Hello, random subordinate that I am seeing in the hallway! I'm your CEO, but I'm still like a regular person. Asok: My name is Asok. CEO: I only touch people who own boats.
Share April 06, 2014's comic on:
Tags #product failure, #not selling, #buggy, #overriced, #competitors, #misleading ads, #vaguely racist, #product name, #bodily fluids, #death, #ceo reputation, #owls, #super yachy, #pal costume, #medical
Boss: We need to figure out why our new product isn't selling well. Dilbert: It's buggy and overpriced. Wally: OUr competitors sell a far better product at half the price. Asok: Our ads are overtly misleading and vaguely racist. Alice: Our product name reminds people of bodily fluids and death. People hate us because our CEO has an endangered owl shooting range on his super yacht. Boss: Does anyone have an idea to fix all of that? Wally: Maybe. Do you own an owl costume?