Search Results for "lead by example"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2014's comic on:


Tags #career scuccess, #babbling jargon, #special gift, #paid for nothing, #lead by example

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Boss: The key to career success is finding your special gift. Wally: My special gift is getting paid for doing nothing but babbling jargon. Boss: Maybe I should lead by example. Wally: Maybe you already did.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

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CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert says to Dilbert as they sit together at the kitchen table, "I've decided to become a generic self-help consultant." Dogbert continues, "I'll tell people to keep a journal of all their thoughts. Then I'll bill them." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How would that help anyone?" Dogbert replies, "I lead by example, my friend."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2007's comic on:


Tags #senior engineer, #lead engineer, #pay is same, #disrespect you, #magic

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The Boss: I'm promoting you from senior engineer to lead engineer. "The pay is the same but people will disrespect you less." Dilbert: "Including you?" The Boss: "It's not magic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #all motivation, #temporary, #lead engineer, #buzz kil, #right back at you

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Dilbert: "I got promoted to lead engineer." Wally: "Me too." Dilbert: "Wow. Buzz kill." Wally: "Right back at you." The Boss: "If you think about it, all motivation is temporary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dead squirrel, #insulting, #knitting sweater, #makeup, #meeting, #no potential benefit, #time management, #time management expert, #woman as example, #hideous outfit

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Dogbert the Time Management Expert Dogbert says, "Never put time into an activity that has no potential benefit." Dogbert says, "For example, why bother putting on makeup if you're going to wear that hideous outfit?" Dogbert says, "That's like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #lead developer, #project, #setting up for failure, #gets cancelled, #motions, #hoping for cancellation

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to the be lead developer on this project." The Boss says, "Don't check the other developers' work because it will make them angry." Dilbert says, "That's okay, as long as they do good work." The Boss says, "Actually, they do bad work. Very, very bad work." Dilbert says, "You are setting me up for certain failure." The Boss says, "If work were easy, no one would pay you to do it." Dilbert says, "Okay. I'll go through the motions while hoping the project gets canceled for other reasons." Dilbert says, "Keep up the bad work, Carl." Carl says, "Who told you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2008's comic on:


Tags #powerpoint slide, #hired to identify, #goals of org., #show you sldie, #get paid

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Dogbert consultant Dogbert says, "I've been hired to identify the most important goals of your organization." Dilbert says, "how will you do that?" Dogbert says, "I'll ask you what they are, and you'll tell me." Dogbert says, "Then I'll put your answers on a PowerPoint slide." Dogbert says, "Next week I'll show you the slide and tell you to focus on your most important goals." Dogbert says, "Then I'll get paid. Because that's MY most important goal." Dogbert says, "WOO-HOO! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!" Dogbert says, "I lead by example."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #project, #ship, #software, #bugs, #objection, #gray area, #example, #mock, #robot from the future, #annoyed

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The Boss says, "We start shipping in two weeks." Dilbert says, "That's not enough time to fix the known bugs." The Boss says, "When you say, 'bugs,' that's sort of a gray area." Dilbert says, "Um? I don't think it is." The Boss says, "For example, a user might need several steps to do something that should only take one." The Boss says, "Or perhaps the interface is a bit unclear." Dilbert says, "or perhaps it can only be operated by a robot from the future who jacks into it and sends commands in zeros and ones." The Boss says, "I can't tell if you're agreeing with me or mocking me." Dilbert says, "That's sort of a gray area."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #market budget, #horse purchase, #top thoroughbread, #broke leg, #starting gate, #shot horse, #sponger sailboat, #lunch, #roast beef sandwhich, #piece of lead

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"Our director of marketing will give us an update." "We spent our entire marketing budget buying a racehorse." "We named the horse after our flagship product because they're both fast, get it?" "Unfortunately we didn't have enough budget for a top thoroughbred." "Our horse broke its leg walking to the starting gate, so we shot it." "Next year we plan to sponsor a sailboat." "Anyway, your lunch today is brought to you by the marketing department." "Enjoy." "Hey, my roast beef sandwich has a piece of lead in it."