Search Results for "internet"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 199

Dilbert Sent To Disable Elbonian Internet

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Sent To Disable Elbonian Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2015's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #binary, #code, #coding, #developing countries, #frustration, #internet, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have been sent to disable the Elbonian Internet as retaliation for hacking into our corporate network. Elbonian 1: Only our elites use the Internet. The rest of us don't care. Knock yourself out. Elbonian 2: Zero, zero, one, zero, one... Elbonian 3: I wish someone would just disable this thing.

Dilbert Snips Elbonian Internet

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Snips Elbonian Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2015's comic on:

Tags #communication, #developing countries, #hackers, #hacking, #internet, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My company sent me to crash the Elbonian Internet in retaliation for hacking us. Elbonian 1: Can you hear me now? Elbonian 2: It's better without the string!

Ceo Buys People On The Internet

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Buys People On The Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2015's comic on:

Tags #book, #internet, #friends, #struggle, #buying friends, #fake, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm writing a book about the struggles of my people. Dilbert: Your people? CEO: The ones I bought on the Internet. Dilbert: What? CEO: They don't look happy. That feels like a book.

Dick From The Internet

Thank you for voting.
Dick From The Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2015's comic on:

Tags #internet, #comment, #jerk, #racism, #misconstrue, #social media, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: An Elbonian start-up invented a new kind of computer mouse. Coworker: Wait until I tell the world that you compared Elbonians to mice, you racists! Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Wally: We're familiar with your work.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2011's comic on:

Tags #anger, #debates, #internet & world wide web, #outsiurcing, #racist, #restrooms, #debate, #internet, #learn debate, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: How can you compare outsourcing to our restrooms? Are you a racist? Dilbert: Um... I didn't say anything remotely like that. Did you learn to debate on the Internet? Man: How can you tell?

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2011's comic on:

Tags #internet & world wide web, #monsters, #turned feral, #engineers, #social life, #social skills, #few weeks, #wolfman, #howls at inetrnet

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Steer clear of Darryl. He turned feral. Asok: Feral? Dilbert: That's what happens when engineers don't get invited to meetings. Alice: Darryl's only social life was meetings. Dilbert: He didn't get to use his social skills for a few weeks, and apparently he lost them. Asok: Is it like he turned into a wolfman? Dilbert: Yes, except he's better at math. And he howls at the Internet, not the moon. Asok: Can we watch? Man: How-ooo can you blog that?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2011's comic on:

Tags #conversation, #discussion, #internet & world wide web, #humor consultant, #have more fun, #internet access to entertainment, #funny comment

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a humor consultant to teach us how to have more fun at work. Dilbert: Does he cancel out the consultant you hired to filter our Internet access to entertainment? Wally: That was a funny comment. How'd you do that without a consultant?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2012's comic on:

Tags #dating, #fast date, #technologically, #incompatible, #internet connection, #slow connection, #4g service, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: That was a fast date. Dilbert: We were technologically incompatible. Her internet connection is slow, and there's no 4G service where she lives. How could I spend my time there? Dogbert: You could just talk. Dilbert: I like to show my sources.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2012's comic on:

Tags #charity, #bottle caps, #fund, #chemo, #pro children, #snopes.com, #internet hoax, #award mug

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Thanks to your leadership, we collected twenty thousand bottle caps to help fund chemo for poor children. And thanks to your... whatever... we checked snopes.com and learned that the bottle cap thing was an internet hoax. I only brought one teamwork award mug, so you'll have to take turns drinking from it.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2012's comic on:

Tags #collaboration tools, #human contact, #internet & world wide web, #judegment, #long term goal, #meetings, #suite of tools

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm designing a suite of internet collaboration tools. It's part of my long-term goal to eliminate all forms of direct human contact. Co-worker: That's messed up. Wally: You're exactly what I'm trying to avoid.