Search Results for "general disdain"
Share February 24, 1995's comic on:
Alice tells Wally and Dilbert, "I'm terrified about my performance review tomorrow." Alice continues, "Men have it easier. You've been conditioned by years of rejection and general disdain." Wally responds, "We're lucky that way." The Boss sits at his desk and reads a document to a male worker sitting across from him. The Boss says, "Overall, I rated your performance as 'simian.'" The worker responds, "Thanks!"
Share October 16, 2011's comic on:
Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.
Share July 13, 1996's comic on:
Catbert peers over the wall and says, "Wally, it's time for your mandatory blood test." Wally says, "I don't take drugs." Catbert, who is holding a syringe, replies, "I'm testing to see if you're stealing time from the company." Wally asks, "Time? How can you test for that?" Catbert replies, "We test your general health. If it's good, you're not working enough hours. You thief."
Share December 18, 1996's comic on:
Ratbert stands on Alice's desk and says, "I don't know much about computers so I compensate by being highly exuberant." Ratbert shouts, "Yes!! Yes!! Computers!! Wahoo!!!" Ratbert looks at the monitor and says, "Hey look! It's not my fault; it's some guy named 'general protection.'" Alice reaches for Ratbert and says, "It's time for your flying lessons."
Share April 05, 1997's comic on:
The caption says, "Company Training." The instructor stands at the front of the room and says, "Let's go around the room and we'll each say what we hope to learn." Alice, Wally and several other people sit in the audience. Alice says, "I hope to learn whether that thing on your head is a bad toupee, a dead animal, or a hideous freak of nature." The instructor pauses before writing on the easel and asks, "Can I call that 'general'?"
Share November 21, 2001's comic on:
Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert is wading through water towards Elbonians. Dilbert says, "Can anyone tell me why your mud delivery business is failing? Anyone?" One Elbonian raises his hand and says, "Is it because of the general economic slow down?" Another adds, "Dot-com meltdown?" Dilbert says, "And maybe because you sell mud to people who live in mud?" An Elbonian replies, "What if we call it fudge?"
Share July 24, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: When I die, I want my ashes scattered in outer space. Dogbert: Cool! I'll bribe an Elbonian general to strap you to their intercontinental missile when we test it next week. Dilbert: It's better if the dying and the ash scattering are separate events. Dogbert: Don't be a burden on the living.
Share September 25, 2004's comic on:
The boss: I'm reading the leadership secrets of the famous Roman general Dogbertious. "Heres a good one: 'Put your wretced slaves in cubicles.'" Heres another: Don't read this book to wretched slaves"
Share July 30, 2005's comic on:
Dilbert: How'd your brain transplant work out? The Boss: Great . ask me anything. Dilbert: What roman general was famous for crossing the rubicon river? Caesar Dilbert: wow thats right. The boss: Phew! Im glad I didn't ho with dijon vinagarette
Share March 19, 2012's comic on:
Wally: Do you feel any need to make conversation? Dilbert: Nope. But I don't mind standing in your general vicinity to counter the common perception of you as a sociopathic loner. Wally: You totally get me. Dilbert: That's what acquaintances are for.