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Twitter The Video Game

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Twitter The Video Game - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #twitter, #social media, #game, #ignorance, #trick, #prank

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Dilbert: Our sales dropped to zero after you offended customers on Twitter. Did someone tell you Twitter was a video game? Narrator: One week ago. Boss: And how would I kill these trolls? Wally: With your words.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #frustration, #matrix comparing features, #skin in game, #bang head, #cause extra work, #value of time, #ninja economics

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Ted: You know what would be great? I'd like to see a matrix comparing the features of our past products. Boss: Dilbert, why don't you pull that together for our next meeting! Dilbert: That would take two days and the matrix would have no practical use. The problem here is that Ted doesn't have any skin in the game. I propose that Ted has to bang his head on the table whenever he causes me to do extra work. That will help Ted make better decision about the value of my time. Ted: Never mind. Dilbert: Ninja economics!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2011's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #golf, #golf game, #boss, #talk about game, #locked in syndrome, #no visitors

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Boss: Who wants to hear about my golf game? Alice: Maybe someone with locked-in syndrome who doesn't get any visitors. Boss: Just for that, I'm going to tell you twice. Alice: No, please. I'll do anything.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #money, #flew to veags, #difficult game, #few beverages, #drop dead, #adult bevarages, #goaway, #est, #co workers, #pai gow, #weekend

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Dilbert: I heard you flew to Vegas and played pai gow all weekend. Wally: Go away. Dilbert: That's a difficult game to learn after having a few adult beverages. Wally: Drop dead. Dilbert: How'd you do? Wally: Leave me alone!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1989's comic on:


Tags #ball, #game, #tennis

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Dilbert and Dogbert hold tennis rackets. Dogbert says, "Experts say that when you have mastered the mental game, the ball will appear to grow larger." Dilbert holds a tiny ball in his hand. Dilbert replies, "Okay, but I still think these balls are not regulation size." Dogbert says, "Probably just a reflection of your lack of confidence." Dogbert walks away and says, "Three moth balls and a good story are more effective than years of lessons."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ball, #bonk, #Dilbert, #head bounce, #make goal, #soccer game, #strike, #uses head bonk

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BONK Dilbert: Gee, Ive scored five goals that way. Liz: you've got a good head for this game.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #no ring, #dilbert asks liz, #date, #pizza date, #after game, #big ring, #eunuchs, #special van, #flop sweat, #kidding, #joke, #gullible, #likes gullible

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"Liz, I noticed you're not wearing a ring. Would you like to go for a pizza after the game?" "Oh, I do have a ring. It's so big I can't wear it. A team of eunuchs follows me around with it in a special van." "Flop-sweat time." "You're gullible. I like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #actually a woman, #claim, #crying game, #dress code, #dress like a man, #the boss

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Alice stands in front of the Boss's desk dressed in a shirt, tie and pants. She says to the Boss, "I'm dressing like a man to protest the company's dress code." The Boss asks, "So, what you're saying is that you're actually a woman. Is that your claim?" Alice says, "That's not exactly the point." The Boss says, "I saw 'The Crying Game.' Don't do anything that would make me heave."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bring to read, #book of tips, #new computer golf game, #reading book, #computer simulation, #almost sport, #non organic life form, #driving little cart

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Liz and Dilbert are seated beneath a tree reading books. She asks him, "What did you bring to read?" Dilbert responds, "It's a book of tips for my new computer golf game." Liz comments, "So . . . you're reading a book . . . about a computer simulation . . . of an activity that's ALMOST a sport . . ." Liz continues, "That's about as close as you can get to being a non-organic life form." Dilbert says, "This chapter is about driving the little cart."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #hit glass ceiling, #play the game, #promote you, #dresses like boss, #suit, #pointy haired

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Alice and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice says, "I've hit the glass ceiling. I'll never be promoted again." Wally replies, "That's because you're not willing to 'play the game.' You have to look and act like the person who can promote you." In order to look like the Boss, Alice shapes her hair into two points, puts on a suit and stuffs a pillow under her shirt. The Boss sees her and thinks, "Ooo la la!" Alice thinks, "This had better work."