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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #personal use, #stealing from company, #human resources, #form a gang, #business

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Catbert is standing on Wally's desk. Catbert says, "Your personal use of the internet is like stealing from the company!" Wally says, "You work in Human Resources; that's like stealing from the company, too." Wally continues, "Maybe we should form a gang."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #new software vendor, #form realtionship, #take money, #ex wife

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Man: I'm your new software vendor. I'm here to form a relationship with you. That way it will be easy to take half of your money. Dilbert: Does that ever work? Man: It worked for my ex-wife.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fighting, #fraternization, #virtual, #ignorant blob, #ugly wool suit, #suggestions, #form of questions

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Boss: Why don't you change this box to say "virtual"? Dilbert: Because I don't want it to look like it was written by an ignorant blob in an ugly wool suit. You probably shouldn't put your suggestions in the form of questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #bluetooth, #bluetooth headset, #cyborg, #doctors, #ear, #full human, #happiness, #intraocular lenses, #inventions, #pill form, #powered by chemistry, #streaming video, #surgically enbed, #vision correction, #dentits, #special surgery, #psychology

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Dilbert: I know I'd be happier as a cyborg than a full human. I want you to surgically embed a bluetooth headset in my ear, powered by my own body chemistry. And I'd like intra-ocular lenses with vision correction and streaming video over bluetooth. Doctor: Happiness only comes in pill form.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #meat, #loaf, #johnson, #april, #form, #somebody, #dentures

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Dilbert and the Boss stand in the lab. The Boss asks, "Are you telling me that your automatic denture invention mistook Johnson for a meat loaf?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . Last April. I guess I should have told somebody." The Boss covers his face with his hands. Dilbert asks, "Is there a form I need to fill out?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #secret, #ratbert, #dog, #rat, #elf, #gang, #disguise, #infiltrate, #hand shake, #heckuva, #guess

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Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I want you to wear a disguise and infiltrate the elf gang that has been bothering us." Ratbert replies, "Check." An elf says to Ratbert who is wearing an elf hat and clothing, "We haven't seen you before . . . " Another elf asks, "What's the secret handshake?" Ratbert bends over and waves his arms. The elf says, "No, but that's one heckuva good guess."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1992's comic on:


Tags #failed, #driving, #test, #nine, #Dogbert, #school, #specialize, #problem, #application, #form, #special, #pointy

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A customer sits across from Dogbert's desk. The boy says, "I've failed the driving test nine times. Can you help?" Dogbert replies, "I specialize in the problem cases. Just sign the application form." The boy looks at the pencil and says, "Wait . . . I've seen one of these before. Yes, there's something special about the pointy end . . . But what?" Dogbert thinks, "Uh oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #employers, #form, #election, #rescind, #opposite, #action, #declining, #reverse, #inclination, #discontinue, #employment

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The Boss hands Dilbert a form and says, "All employees must fill out this form." Dilbert reads, "Employee election to not rescind the opposite action of declining the reverse inclination to not discontinue employment with the company." Dilbert asks, "You're trying to trick us into quitting, aren't you?" The Boss hands Dilbert a pen and says, "Use ink."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #own cubicles, #keep binders, #shopping cart, #strong interest, #graffitti, #express indviduality, #could be worse, #joining gang

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Dilbert enters carrying a briefcase and meets Wally who is pushing a shopping cart. Wally says, "Now that we don't have our own cubicles I have to keep my binders in this shopping cart." Wally draws on a cubicle wall with a can of spray paint and says, "And I've developed a strong interest in graffiti as a way to express my individuality." Dilbert says, "Well . . . It could be worse." Wally continues, "I'm thinking of joining a gang."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #form a vidion, #concept for requirements, #startman, #mission critical, #functions, #quality vectors, #fine line, #participation, #and mockery

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The Boss sits at a conference table with Wally and Dilbert. The Boss says, "Maybe we could form a vision statement of our concepts for requirements." Wally says, "Or maybe we can bound our strawman by the mission-critical functions of our quality vector!" As they walk away, Dilbert says to Wally, "You're shameless." Wally responds, "There's a fine line between participation and mockery."