Search Results for "drinking"
Share November 14, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I quit drinking coffee. I don't like to be dependent on chemicals." Dogbert asks, "How's it feel?" Dilbert replies, "I felt a little slow getting ready for work, but you have to expect that on a Monday." Dogbert says, "It's Thursday."
Share March 12, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert's lawyer says, "I call Ratbert as my first witness." Ratbert sits on the witness stand. The attorney asks, "Is it true that Dilbert is a secret cat lover who often betrayed the trust of his faithful dog?" Ratbert replies, "It's true." Ratbert continues, "I often found him alone drinking root beer and reading 'Cat Fancy' magazine in his underwear . . . It's a sickness."
Share August 14, 1998's comic on:
Caption: Somewhere on the moon. The engineers and Dilbert are in a standoff. Engineer 1 says, "So, you discovered where NASA hides the women who love male engineers." Engineer 1 says, "How about a little drinking contest, tough guy? The loser can nver return." The three engineer loving women lie slumped on the surface of the moon surrounded by empty alcohol bottles. Woman 1 says "We probably shouldn't have insisted on entering the contest." Woman 2 says, "I'll miss them."
Share September 27, 1999's comic on:
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert are at a meeting. The Boss is holding a bottle of water. The Boss says, "Our safety department has tested our drinking water and found no problem." The Boss drinks the water. Wally says, "Then why do you drink only bottled water?" The Boss says, "Because that's what the safety department drinks."
Share July 05, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Wally, "I'm having these coffee meetings to find out how I can improve morale." Wally responds, "My only problem was that I wasn't drinking enough coffee with you. So now I'm good, thanks." Wally continues, "Promise me you'll never leave this table. I can't go back to the way things were."
Share April 28, 2005's comic on:
Tina: Oh No. It's a technical glitch that I don't know how to fix. "GAA! NOw I must humble myself to some condescending engineer and ask for help!" Alice: "And how did I teach you to ask?" Tina: "I'm sorry that I spent my college years drinking beer and studying English literature."
Share July 14, 2007's comic on:
Catbert, evil director of human resources Catbert: "Our new policy is no drinking coffee during work." "That should remove all doubt that our policies are designed for any reason other than evil." Dilbert: "Your honesty is refreshing." Catbert: "Stop ruining the moment!!!"
Share November 08, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: I invented a filter that can turn raw sewage into pure drinking water in seconds. CEO: Glug glug glug. Dilbert: The clean water ends up here in the upper container.
Share December 23, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: "I'm off to the management retreat." "I won't be reachable because I'll be busy golfing, swimming, drinking, and getting massages." Carol: "And attending meetings?" The Boss: "I don't see how we'll have any time for that." "While I'm gone, I have a few tasks for you to do." "Open all the packages of printer paper and make sure they have the right number of sheets." "Then crawl into the heating ducts and see if you can find what died in there." Carol: "It's my last boss." the Boss: "Spray him with something lemony."
Share June 28, 2014's comic on:
Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.