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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #work ethic, #workplace happiness, #direct deposit, #mental distance, #effort, #paycheck, #no clear goal, #doing good work, #job satisafaction, #stress related problems, #highly demotivated

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Asok: Wally, what is the key to workplace happiness? Wally: Well, Asok, it all starts with direct deposit. You want to keep some mental distance between your effort and your paycheck. Next, you want to work on projects that have no clear goals or deadlines. Coworker: Hey, Wally, can you... Wally: No, I'm too busy doing various things. Asok: What about the satisfaction of doing good work? Wally: Job satisfaction is what people feel right before they die from stress-related problems. Asok: I feel highly demotivated right now. Wally: You are very welcome.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #conversation, #dating, #micromanaging, #boss, #god work, #just listen, #insulting, #insuate

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Woman: My boss keeps micromanaging me. Dilbert: Have you tried doing good work so she doesn't feel the need? Maybe I should just listen.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #envy, #big promotion, #congratulations, #not jealous, #good work, #art of full body lying

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Ted: Hey, Alice! Did you hear about my big promotion? Alice: Congratulations, Ted. I'm not jealous at all. Keep up the good work. Sorry about my face. I haven't mastered the art of full-body lying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 1999's comic on:


Tags #air duct, #award for good work, #been summoned, #intern, #boss office

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ASok stands in Wally's cube. Asok says, "I have been summoned to the boss's office." Asok says, "He probably wants to give me some sort of award for my good work as an intern." Carol and The Boss look at the ceiling in his office. Asok can be seen through the window smiling. Carol says, "Why do you need to know where that air duct ends?" The Boss says, "It's been bugging me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #didn't listen, #good work, #magazine, #more assignments, #new boss, #boss, #secretary

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Carol hands a sheet of paper to Alice who is at her computer and says: "When you finish this, I have more assignments for you." Alice says to Carol: "Carol, you're the boss's secretary, not my boss. And this is a page from a magazine." Carol says to Alice: "Keep up the good work." Alice answers surprised: "You didn't listen. That can only mean you're the new boss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #cockeyed, #creepy guy, #fail, #good work, #hired creep, #products features, #cape, #cane

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The Boss: I hired a creep to help determine our products features. Creep: You need more features. The Boss: Good work. The boss;:When can you have that done? Dilbert: GAAA!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #moral money, #doing hood, #buy prodcuts, #logo, #coffee mug, #ten million dollars, #morale dollars

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "Introducing 'Morale Money.' Now you can earn money for doing good work." The Boss continues, "You can use it at the company store to buy products that have our logo." Dilbert is at the company store's cash register holding a mug. The employee says, "The coffee mug costs ten million morale dollars."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #roboboss, #good work, #compliments employees, #shallow compliment, #feel good, #high five

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Roboboss says to Alice, "I am Roboboss. You are a valuable asset. Keep up the good work." Alice replies, "That is the most shallow compliment I have ever heard. But it still made me feel good." Alice continues, "So.. Are you seeing anyone?" Roboboss replies, "High five!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2007's comic on:


Tags #dead horse, #meeting room, #cahir, #beating, #good work, #havnet beaten long enough, #introduce

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The Boss: "I hired a dead horse, he doesn't look like much, but if you beat him long enough, he does good work." Dilbert: "Have you seen him do good work?" The Boss: "I haven't beaten him long enough." "Introduce yourself to the others!" Whap!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #act ineterested, #air gap, #boring, #doing at work, #hurt when i hurt, #mother, #no empathy for son, #no pain, #dilberts mother

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Dilbert asks, "Do you want to hear what I'm doing at work?" Dilbert's mom is holding a plant. She replies, "Not so much." Dilbert says, "You're supposed to act interested because you're my mother." His mom replies, "Well..." Her voice continues, "I'm not saying you're boring, it's just that everything you talk about is boring." Dilbert says, "That's the same as saying I'm boring." Dilbert's mom is watering a plant. She responds, "Only when you talk." Dilbert asks, "But you care about me, right? When I hurt, you hurt?" Dilbert's mom has put down her plant. She says, "Actually, the electrical impulses in your brain don't fly across the air gap to my brain." She continues, "You could be writhing in agony and I wouldn't feel a thing." Dilbert looks down and says, "Ouch." Dilbert's picks up her plant again and says, "air gap."