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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2000's comic on:


Tags #agency, #get it, #hand, #joke, #play on words, #dogbert temp

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New Temp: Im from the DOgbert Temp agency, DO you need a hand? Dilbert: I get it, her her! New Temp: Get what? Dilbert: Then I said, "Don't get mad: try counting to fifteen" Wally: Ouch.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #genetic anamolies, #genetic engineering, #grow on, #hand growing on head, #new temp, #temp agnecy, #wear goggles

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Dogbert: The Dogbert temp agency uses genetic engineering to grow our own workers. The Boss: Isn't that dangerous? Dogbert: I wear safety goggles. Temp: Im the new temp. Alice: Um Im alice.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #executives, #meetings, #Dogbert, #consulting, #facebook, #china, #irrelevant, #breakout groups, #fantasize, #being relevant

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Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Where does your company fit on this comprehensive list?" Facebook, China, Irrelevant Dogbert says, "Now let's form breakout groups to fantasize about being relevant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2011's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #conversation, #get mad, #point out dumb, #helpful, #doctor, #Dogbert

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Dilbert: I wonder why people get mad when I point out how dumb they are. I'm just trying to be helpful. I don't want people going through life not knowing what the problem is. I'm kind of like a doctor. Dogbert: I stopped listening back at the house.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #tv news, #financial report, #tv show, #cable news show, #Dogbert, #gold fillings, #remove your own

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News anchor: My next guest on money - n- stuff is Dogbert the doomsday pundit, DOgbert: Goldman Sachs is forming a Hobo army to take over the world. Start hoarding anything with a pointy end. DOW 975 DOgbert: Hobo army coming. News Anchor: after the break, learn how to remove your own gold fillings,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 1993's comic on:


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Dilbert arrives at home with burned clothes and clouds of smoke rising from his head. Dilbert asks, "Dogbert, do you know how my light pointer pen could have gotten set to maximum power?" Dogbert replies, "You never seem to grasp the humor in these situations. It's not as if you caused any permanent damage in the office." Dilbert says, "Actually, I wasted a temp named Carl in the next office." Dogbert says, "A temp - my point exactly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert sits in a jailroom. Dilbert says, "I bet I've gone to jail more than the average law-abiding citizen." Dogbert replies, "I plan to defend you by proving your victim was a temp worker." Dilbert asks, "It's legal to kill a temp? Really??" Dogbert says, "Now all we need is a jury of your 'peers.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1993's comic on:


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Dogbert says to the members of a jury, "Yes, my client did accidentally slay a 'temp' worker . . . Emphasis on 'TEMP.'" Dogbert asks, "But who among us can say they haven't slain innocent people when the situation called for it?" The judge replies, "I can." Dogbert says, "Well, great . . . So much for getting a fair trial."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #evil demons, #stupidity, #saint dogbert, #image, #protect and wathc, #career change, #out demons of stupid

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Dogbert: "Is your job plagued by the evil demons of stupidity?" "Simply affix this image of Saint Dogbert to every document, cubicle or computer you want to protect and watch your career being to change!" "Out Out!! You demons of stupidity!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #hit man for mob, #get away with murder, #cute, #self complimentary, #conversation

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Dogbert: "Have you ever noticed how incredibly cute I am?" "Look at this little black nose, soft furry ears, adorable little tail...with these looks I could get away with murder." "I'm thinking of becoming a hit man for the mob." Dilbert: "I'm glad we have these little talks."