Search Results for "dilbert's mental health"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 579

Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health

Thank you for voting.
Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2018's comic on:

Tags #asoks health, #boss worried, #brilliant ideas, #misunderstand, #too dumb, #dilbert's mental health, #called into question

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad. Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them? The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 1996's comic on:

Tags #diagnose mental health, #exercise regulalry, #looking depressed, #prescription, #anti depressant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks by with a briefcase as the garbage man is emptying a trashcan. The garbage man says to him, "Dilbert, I notice you've been looking depressed lately." The garbage man writes on a pad and says, "Here's a prescription for an antidepressant drug. Be sure to exercise regularly and don't skip meals." Dilbert says angrily, "What makes you think you're qualified to diagnose my mental health?!!" The garbage man reaches for the prescription and says, "I'd better double it."

Boss Is Sane

Thank you for voting.
Boss Is Sane - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2018's comic on:

Tags #mental health, #mental illness, #managers, #sane, #insanity, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Mental Health Expert. Boss: Can you confirm that my employees have lost their minds? Dogbert: Yes, because they work for you. Any other questions? Boss: But I'm sane, right? Dogbert: Yes, because you hired me.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2014's comic on:

Tags #employees, #mental health, #vision not money, #mental problems, #low self esteem, #performance review, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need employees that are motivated by our vision, not by money. Catbert: Are we looking for any other mental problems, or just that one? Boss: I"m also a big fan of low self-esteem. It comes in handy at performance review time.

Pill For Boss Conversations

Thank you for voting.
Pill For Boss Conversations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2018's comic on:

Tags #mental health, #mental illness, #crazy, #managers, #sanity, #insane

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Catbert thinks I'm causing mental problems in my employees. That's crazy, right? Carol: Hold that thought. My doctor prescribed pills for when I have to talk to you.

View more books now

Smartphone Syndrome

Thank you for voting.
Smartphone Syndrome - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2018's comic on:

Tags #cell phone, #smart phone, #compulsion, #addiction, #attention, #distraction, #mental health, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You've got a bad case of smartphone syndrome. One of hundred percent of your mental and physical problems are caused by using your phone too much. I don't feel as if I'm getting through to you. Alice texting: She's still talking. LOL.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2012's comic on:

Tags #mental health, #crazy thought, #witness, #conference room, #fresh heck, #sadist, #sociopath

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Wait. Hold that crazy thought. I need to get a witness in the room. Alice, would you mind coming to the conference room for a minute? Alice: What fresh heck is this? Dilbert: Larry is a sadist and a sociopath, but he hides it when there's more than one witness. So, Larry, what do you think of my project? Coworker: It looks great! I'll be happy to help you in any way I can! Alice: Am I done here? Dilbert: Don't turn your back!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1991's comic on:

Tags #ratbert, #man, #chiuhuahua, #jock, #disguise, #animal behavior, #attention span, #mental health, #rat

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Hey, aren't you one of those chihuahua dogs? Ratbert: The disguise is working. Man: Unless... Maybe you're just a rat in a turtleneck sweater, pretending to be a chihuahua. Ratbert: Think fast. Man: I don't have the attention span to think about it. Ratbert: What did he mean by, "just a rat"?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2013's comic on:

Tags #interviews, #mental health, #creative, #adhd, #dyslexia, #bipolar, #schizophrenia, #creativity, #normal is boring, #turning tables, #job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm looking for an employee who is creative. Interviewee: That's me. I have ADHD and dylsexia. I'm also bipolar and schizophrenic. Dilbert: Checking the Internet... Well... that's surprising. Each of his conditions is highly correlated with creativity. Interviewee: Are you a normal? Boss: I... think so. Interviewee: Wow. I feel sorry for you. It must be hard going through life without any creativity. Boss: What's happening here? Dilbert: It might be some sort of creative thing.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2013's comic on:

Tags #cruelty, #executives, #mental health, #psychopaths, #grandiose sense, #self worth, #kill for asking

View Transcript

Transcript

Executive Coaching Dogbert; Research shows that CEOs are more likely to be psychopaths. Obviously, being a psychopath works. Don't let anyone tell you different. How's your grandiose sense of self-worth? CEO: It's the best. I should kill you for asking.