Search Results for "awkward"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2011's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #collegue, #associate, #teammate, #subordinate, #awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And this is Carol. She's my... Carol: Colleague? Boss: No. Carol: Associate? Boss: No. Carol: Teammate? Boss: No. I was going to say "subordinate," but now it's awkward.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #correlations, #predicted outcomes, #problem, #enormous ceo compensation, #myth, #control over profits, #awkward, #trap door, #ceo trick, #violent

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I did a study of our past business plans and found something. There's no correlation between our predicted and actual outcomes. That might be a problem for you. Your enormous CEO compensation is based on the myth that you have some control over our profitability. CEO: Ha! Dilbert: Ha! CEO: Is it just me or is this awkward? Dilbert: No, I'm feeling it too.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #awkward, #couch, #green, #lights on, #meet new girlfreind, #save energy, #smooch, #turn lights, #dinosaur

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and his girlfriend are sitting on the couch. Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I turn off the lights to... um... save energy?" She replies, "I'm green with that." The lights are off. There are only sounds of kissing: "Mmm.. smooch smooch." "Smooch smooch." Dilbert's girlfriend turns on the light to find Dilbert on top of Bob. Bob says, "I came down to meet your new girlfriend but now I think it'll be awkward."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dogcart attorney, #too late, #change, #punish client, #expect awkward silences, #next break

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Dogbert the Attorney. Dogbert raises his hand and says, "Your honor, is it too late to change sides?" Dogbert continues, "After hearing the evidence, I want to punish my client." After a pause, Dogbert asks, "No?" The Boss glares at Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "I expect some awkward silences during the next break."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #need this afternoon, #shirt timer, #sit in this chaor, #move arms, #hesitate to ask, #itch, #awkward place

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a coworker, "...And I need it this afternoon." The coworker replies, "Forget it! I'm a short-timer." The coworker continues, "I plan to sit in this chair and not move my arms or legs for a week. After that, I'll never work another day!" The coworker concludes, "I hesitate to ask this, but I have an itch in an awkward place."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2000's comic on:


Tags #system failures, #data aren't actionable, #no practical value, #crime, #guilty, #feel awkward, #incident

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "We had fifteen system failures with the previous software." Dilbert says to Ted, "Your data aren't actionable." Ted replies, "What?" Dilbert continues, "Your presentation has no practical walue." Ted throws his hands in the air in defeat and says to Dilbert, "Well, if that's suddenly a crime then call me guilty!" Wally says, "Now the meeting feels awkward can we go back to acting interested?" Dilbert replies, "I guess." Ted says, "Fine. Let's put this ugly incident behind us."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2012's comic on:


Tags #executives, #meetings, #new team, #company change startegy, #meetings turn awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: My new executive team got together and figured out the source of all of our problems. Dilbert: Is the problem that the executive team keeps changing, and that means the company strategy keeps changing? Wally: Is the problem that all of our meetings turn awkward?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #awkward, #emails, #karma, #texts, #voicemails, #plausible excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's the guy who hasn't responded to any of my seventeen emails, nine texts, and four voicemails. It must be awkward sitting here now. Are you trying to concoct a plausible excuse for ignoring my messages? Say hello to karma.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #bleed people, #living and dead, #awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, in the past month you've blamed your lack of productivity on seven dead people and three who never existed." Wally: I used to blame living coworkers but it made the meetings awkward. The Boss: Whose fault is that? Wally: Here comes the awkward part.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2010's comic on:


Tags #bad news, #awkward, #funny face

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "A salesman borrowed the demo unit that you flew across the country to see." Man says, "Can I show you something totally irrelevant so this doesn't feel so awkward?" Dilbert says, "Give me a minute to get out of the splatter zone."