Search Results for "fired"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2008's comic on:


Tags #strategic alternatives, #company for sale, #new corporate overlords, #employment vandalism

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The Boss says, "The company has decided to explore strategic alternatives." Dilbert says, "Is that another way to say the company is for sale and we'll all be fired by our new corporate overlords?" The Boss says, "What answer will spark the least employee vandalism?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #complain, #annoyed, #ted, #fire, #surprise, #meeting, #sit down, #lie, #wide eyes

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Wally says, "I spent the entire week cleaning up the mess that Ted left after you fired him." Ted says, "I didn't get fired. I'm right here." Wally says, "I guess it's just his word against mine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #fired, #pink slip, #cleaned out desk, #hold box, #letter of reference, #loser sign, #angry, #grit teeth, #tease

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Man says, "I cleaned out my desk. Would you be willing to give me a letter of reference?" The Boss says, "How about the letter 'L'? That seems about right?" Man thinks, "Must? not? burn... bridges." The Boss says, "Too soon?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #coworker, #meeting, #introduce, #front, #marketing, #social media, #facebook, #twitter, #blog, #scared, #point, #accuse, #fire

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The Boss says, "Beth is our new marketing manager for social media." The Boss says, "By the way, company policy forbids the use of Facebook and Twitter at work. And we don't trust you to work from home." The Boss says, "If you blog about how lame we are, you're fired!!!" Beth thinks, "First day, not so good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2009's comic on:


Tags #firings, #layoffs, #company

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Dilbert says, "I don't care that you fired me for using work time to start my own internet business." Dilbert says, "My new company will be a huge success!" The Boss says, "yes, and we own it because you created it during work." Dilbert says, "Then I barfed in my box full of junk." Dogbert says, "You may have lost that round."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2009's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #interview, #job, #employment, #humiliation

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Dogbert says, "I bought the company that fired you. Now you can interview with me for your old job." Dilbert says, "You already know everything about me. An interview would have no purpose other than to humiliate me." "Dogbert says, "Since when do things need two purposes?" "Is Tuesday good?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #discussion, #deliberating, #firing, #layoffs, #downsizing

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Catbert says, "Do you want to lay off the highly skilled, whiny jerk who is toxic to the workplace or?" Catbert says, "?The pleasant but incompetent guy who will lead us to ruination?" Catbert says, "This got harder after we fired all of the unskilled, whiny jerks." The boss says, "Which one is uglier?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #layoffs, #fired, #surprised, #mean, #cruel, #reading

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the boss says, "Ted, business is slow, and I have to let you go." The boss says, "But I already did your performance review so I thought you might benefit from constructive feedback." Ted says, "'You're like a blister on a skunk's colon.'" The boss says, "A tiny one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #talking, #meeting, #ridiculous, #idea, #metaphysics, #pointing, #firing

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're paying too much taxes. Bring me a physicist and a tax attorney." Dogbert says, "I want to incorporate in another dimension. Make it happen." Man says, "Somewhere in the multiverse it's already done." Dogbert says, "I like you. The lawyer guy is fired."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2009's comic on:


Tags #firing, #launching, #spring, #ridiculous, #surprised, #worried, #scared, #evil, #cruel

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "My old policy was to have security immediately escort out anyone I fired." Sproing! Catbert says, "But that left too much time for weeping."