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Wally Engineers Something

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Wally Engineers Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #genius, #brilliant, #idea, #thinking, #printer, #technology, #invention, #medicine, #deception, #motivation, #innovation, #laziness

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Dilbert: Did you design our robot's 3-D pill printer? Wally: Yup. Dilbert: The design is brilliant, except for the part where the pill drops out of the robot's butt. Why are you suddenly brilliant? Wally: Never had a reason before.

Boss Thought Of It First

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Boss Thought Of It First - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #credit, #ideas, #thinking

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Alice: And that's my idea. I think it's brilliant. Boss: I thought of that idea right before you said it. Alice: What are the odds of that? Boss: It happens to me all the time.

Wally's Coffee Ideas

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Wally's Coffee Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #coffee, #obsession, #caffeine, #decaf, #competition, #thinking, #intelligence

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Wally: I recommend buying the company that supplies coffee to our biggest competitor. We'll replace their regular coffee with decaf enjoy a solid 20-point I.Q. advantage over them. Boss: Do all of your ideas involve coffee. Wally: Only the good ones.

Wally's Coffee Drone

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Wally's Coffee Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #management, #ideas, #invention, #coffee

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Wally: My leadership job didn't last long. I got demoted back to engineering. I guess they realized all of my ideas are about coffee. Dilbert: I've noticed that too. Wally: Watch out for my coffee drone behind you.

Success Diminishes Other Guy

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Success Diminishes Other Guy   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #diminshed, #support, #stab me, #great deas, #discussion, #argument

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Ted: Your idea is great, but I plan to oppose it because I feel diminished by the success of others. Dilbert: Maybe you could support it now and then stab me in the back later. Ted: That's two great ideas you've had today. Dilbert: thank you.

No Good Ideas In Decades

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No Good Ideas In Decades - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #candid, #ageism, #conversation, #speaking, #talking

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Man: May I make a suggestion? Dilbert: Sure. Do you mind if I only pretend to listen because you haven't had a good idea in several decades? Man: That's fine. I was only looking forward to the part where I'm talking. Dilbert: Proceed.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #critics, #idea tried, #failed misarably, #skilled at implementing, #evaluating, #insulting

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Coworker says, "Your idea has already been tried by others and it failed miserably." Dilbert says, "Were those other as skilled at implementing ideas as you are at evaluating them?" Coworker says, "Of course they were!" Dilbert says, "Can you tell him to stop insulting himself?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #competition (psychology), #tweaks to ideas, #fails, #claim credit, #many forms genius, #steaming an oval

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Boss: I made a few tweaks to your idea. Now if it fails it was your idea, and if it works I can claim credit. Boss: Genius comes in many forms. Dilbert: Such as steaming and oval?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #gadgets, #hardware, #robotic arms, #hold coffee cups, #industry changing products

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Wally: One percent of engineers create all of the industry - changing products. I propose replacing the other 99% with robotic arms that hold coffee cups. You won't see any of the laggards in the 99% come up with great ideas like this one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #office workers, #focus areas, #sense of humor, #dumb enogh, #misunderstood man, #angry idiot, #selling it

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Boss: These are our 25 focus areas for next year. Asok: Ha ha! Good one. Sometimes I think you have no sense of humor and then zing! What? Dilbert: I think it's real. Asok: It can't be real. No one would be dumb enough to think we can focus on 25 areas. Don't worry. I've got this. This misunderstood man is a brilliant comedian. He is only pretending to be an angry idiot. You're totally selling it.