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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "Ugh . . . Gosh, what a nightmare." Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Bob, I just dreamed Dilbert was killed by deer, and all he left me was his recipe for chile con carne." Bob says, "Bad news . . ." Dogbert asks, "He's really dead?" Bob replies, "And his chile con carne stinks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "I have a busy day ahead of me." Dogbert thinks, "Got to do some pillow-sitting, maybe eat a little." Dogbert thinks, "I'd better pace myself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert sits on a pillow thinking, "When I conquer the earth . . . Will it be more efficient to put all humans in prison . . ." Dogbert continues thinking, ". . . Or train them as domestic servants for dogs?" Dilbert watches Dogbert from the doorway and thinks, "It's amazing how dogs can sit for hours thinking absolutely nothing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. The announcer says, "A new study shows that sitting on a pillow and watching television . . ." The announcer continues, "Can lower your standards . . ." The announcer continues, "Stay tuned for an encore presentation of 'Celebrity Burping.'" Dogbert thinks, "I guess it all works out."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. He thinks, "The more I watch television, the more I wonder why I'm not already supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert walks away thinking, "Those people are idiots. They should all drive over here and proclaim me their king." Dogbert returns to the pillow with a bag of potato chips and thinks, "The secret to happiness is high expectations and your own bag of chips."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The caption says, "Dog aerobics." Dogbert sits on his pillow. Dogbert lies down and sleeps on the pillow. Dogbert sits up and says, ". . . And a one . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #dating, #smiling, #more attractive, #extra hetero

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Dilbert: Studies show that smiling makes you more attractive. Wally: Is it working. Dilbert: I just became extra hetero.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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A man says to Dilbert, "I hope you won't mind my pillow and blanket at your presentation." The man continues, "The last time you presented, I lost consciousness and broke my nose on the table." Dilbert stands in front of a conference table. All of the people at the table are asleep. Dilbert thinks, "Whatever happened to good manners?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert sits on his pillow. There is a knock at the door. Dogbert opens the door and an old man with a staff and a hat with an "F" on it stands on the doorstep. The man says, "Dogbert, I am 'Fate.' You must steal Dilbert's hover-saucer and conquer the tiny nation of Elbonia." Dogbert asks, "Since when does Fate knock?" The man replies, "I was bought out in an unfriendly merger by 'Opportunity.' I should have seen it coming."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dogbert says, "We have to approach your dating problem logically." Dogbert continues, "We'll begin by writing down all of the qualities you want in a girlfriend." Much later, Dogbert is still writing and there are stacks of paper on the table. Dilbert says, ". . . And she must be a ballerina." Dogbert says, "My paw is cramping."