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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #school, #technology, #imbeciles, #baffled, #intelligence, #generalizing

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Dogbert says to a group of people, "Welcome to Dogbert's School for Technology Imbeciles." Dogbert continues, "You are all easily baffled by simple technology, even though you have normal intelligence otherwise." Dogbert continues, "Of course, I'm generalizing on that last point."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #s.e.w.l.t.u.i.f.e, #lay dog, #society, #engineers, #initials, #everything, #acronyms, #unwashed, #masses, #technology, #b.f.d., #big furry deal

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I'm joining the S.E.W.L.T.U.I.F.E." Dilbert explains, "To the lay dog, it's known as the 'Society of Engineers Who Like to Use Initials for Everything.'" Dilbert continues, "We use acronyms to set us apart from the unwashed masses who don't understand technology." Dogbert replies, "B.F.D." The caption translates Dogbert's comment as "Big Furry Deal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #computer, #chip, #market, #machine, #date, #curve, #technology, #racing, #state, #edge, #museums

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Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dogbert says, "I just read that a new computer chip is on the market. Your machine is out of date." Dogbert continues, "You're behind the curve. Technology is racing ahead without you. You're no longer state-of-the-art or leading edge." Dogbert continues, "Sometimes people like you can get jobs in museums." Dilbert yells, "I bought this thing yesterday!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #computer, #obsolete, #engineers, #down, #technology, #curve

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Dilbert says to Wally and Ted, "I'm so mad . . . I just bought a new computer and it's already obsolete." Wally replies, "Don't feel bad. The other engineers won't look down on you just because you're behind the technology curve." Ted says, "Yeah, we will." Wally replies, "Not right in front of him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #chance, #promoted, #technology, #prima donna, #personality, #disorder, #person, #learn, #dustin, #hoffman, #sean penn, #paparazzi

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Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and Dogbert sits on the couch armrest. Dilbert says, "I have a chance to be promoted to 'Technology Prima Donna' if I can develop a personality disorder." Dilbert says, "I don't know how a person can learn that sort of thing." Dogbert replies, "It's easy." Dogbert explains, "Imagine Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man.' Now add a dash of Sean Penn meeting a paparazzo." Dilbert clenches his fists and says, "Grrr . . . . Mumble . . . Grrr . . . "

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #company, #headquarters, #plan, #employees, #offer, #deceptively, #retire, #Wally, #alice, #calculate, #cosine

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At company headquarters, someone asks, "Does anybody have a plan for getting rid of the employees?" Another person answers, "Well, they're bad at math; we could offer deceptively small sums of money to people who retire." Dilbert, Wally and Alice read copies of a document. Dilbert says, "Hey, this could be good." Wally says, "It's been a long time since I had to calculate the cosine of anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #report, #sentence, #micro-robotics, #dead-end, #technology, #opposite, #confusing, #senseless, #scenario, #win-win

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Good report . . . But add a sentence that says micro-robotics is a dead-end technology." Dilbert replies, "But that's the exact opposite of my point! If I add that, the whole report would be a confusing and senseless waste of time!" The Boss says, "That's okay. We just won't let anybody else see it." Dilbert asks, "Is this a win-win scenario?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #noriko, #generation, #Kids, #power, #names, #ship, #oxygen, #mars, #plan

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the grass. Noriko stands between them saying, "You adults are ruining the planet for my generation." Noriko continues, "We kids have no power now, but I'm taking names. When we take power we'll ship you all to a penal colony on Mars." Dilbert replies, "There's no oxygen on Mars." Noriko says, "Oh, NOW you learn to plan ahead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #man, #woman, #zombies, #office, #business-plan

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Dogbert says to the seminar participants, "As a zombie, you must speak in empty generalities." Dogbert continues, "Your business plan might say 'We strive to utilize a variety of techniques to accomplish a broad spectrum of results toward the bottom line.'" A man says, "Hey! My skin is getting clammy and I have the urge to call a meeting!" The man sitting next to him says, "Me too!" Dogbert says, "Good . . . Good . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #elbonian division, #launching staellites, #technology, #elbonians

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The Boss: Our Elbonian division was the low bidder for launching French satellites into orbit. Im putting you personally in charge Make sure they use the right technology. Elbonia OOPS elbonian: I hope those things aren't expensive.