Search Results for "dilbert's mental health"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1993's comic on:


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Dilbert sits at his desk staring at his computer. He has dishes stacked on top of his head. Ratbert asks Dogbert, "What are those dishes doing on Dilbert's head?" Dogbert replies, "He's in a video game trance. I'm testing my theory that he is unaware of his environment and has no discernible mental activity." Ratbert walks away with dishes stacked on his head. Ratbert thinks, "Poor guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert stands in Dilbert's cubicle wearing a hard hat and reading some construction plans. Dilbert says, "I don't think it's fair to put convicts in our spare cubicles." Dogbert says, "Don't be such a bigot. These people have made one little mistake. Otherwise, they're just like employees." Dilbert says, "I think there are a few differences!" Dogbert responds, "Yeah, their health plan is better."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #mental powers, #predicting, #proven psychic, #scientific methid, #testing

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Ken the Skeptic sits in a chair, drinking from a cup of coffee. He says, "I've used the scientific method to debunk 100% of the people who claim they have mental powers." Dogbert sits on the couch and says, "Are you saying that every test you perform turns out the way you predict it will?" Ken says, "What's your point?" Dogbert's ears fly up and he screams, "You've proven that you're psychic!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #career talk, #boss, #office, #work you, #health deteriorates, #obsolete, #downsize, #plan work fast, #ill

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Dilbert stadns in front of the Boss who is sitting at his desk. Dilbert says, "I'd like to talk about my career path." The Boss says, "Okay." The Boss says, "My plan is to work you until your health deteriorates and your skills are obsolete. Then we'll downsize you." Dilbert holds his stomach and says, "I'm ill." The Boss says, "Really? I've never had a plan work this fast before."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #box, #explination, #work environment, #dilberts mother, #dilmom

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Dilbert's mom, "Someday I'd like to see your office." Dilbert responds, "It's a cubicle, Mom." Dilbert's mom asks, "What's a cubicle?" Dilbert responds, "Imagine the most beautiful place on Earth." Dilbert's mom replies, "Okay. I've got it." Dilbert says, "Now imagine you can never go there because you live in a box."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #happy birthday alice, #gift, #charity money, #team spitit, #ash tray, #dont smoke, #ashtray as gift

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Alice and Dilbert sit at a table. Wally stands at the table. Wally says, "Happy Birthday Alice!" Dilbert gives Alice a gift. Wally says, "I was planning to get a gift..." Wally continues, "But then I thought...". Alice takes the gift from Dilbert. Wally says, "Why not give the money to a charity in Alice's name?" Alice asks, "Really? Which charity?" Wally says, "Ummm...'The United Society of Poor People with Major Health Problems'." Alice opens Dilbert's gift. Alice says, "...And Dilbert got me an ashtray even though I don't smoke." Dilbert says, "You don't?" Wally and Dilbert sit at the table. Alice's seat is empty. Alice has left her gift on the table. Wally says, "They say this sort of thing builds team spirit." Dilbert says, "It must be gradual."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 1999's comic on:


Tags #bill agtes, #bill gates, #competition keeper, #infrared, #linus rules, #linux box, #missiles, #sent email, #visit mom, #dilberts mother

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Dilbert's mom and Dilbert sit on the couch in Dilbert's living room. Dilbert's mom says, "...I'm going to infrared from the keyboard to my "linux" box." She has a keyboard on her lap. Dilbert says, "Nice mom" Dilbert's mom makes a fist and says, "I just sent a flaming e-mail to Bill gates, saying "Linux rules!" Dilbert says, "you what?" Bill gates sits in captians chair in a military looking facility. Bill says, "Launch the competitionkeeper missiles."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1999's comic on:


Tags #most common metal errors, #hot day, #heel, #add anew category

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Dogbert stands in Dilbert's cubicle with a clipboard. Dogbert says, "In order to save time, I made a checklist of your most common mental errors." Dilbert says, "It'll be a hot day in hell before you need that, my friend." Dogbert looks at the paper and says, "I need a new category."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #care about you, #improve morale, #illegal, #health, #least possible way

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The boss, standing behind Alice sitting at her computer says, "Alice, I care about you..." The boss adds, "But only enough to improve your morale, not enough to be illegal in any way." The boss continues saying, "So, tell me about you health in the least specific way possible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #low battery indicator, #work day and night, #health decline, #other peoples problems, #creep likes

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The feature creep Creep: Is it too late to give our product a low battery indicator? Dilbert: Id have to work night and day for a month! My health would decline and Id miss all my objectives! Creep: I jus realized that other peoples problems make me all warm inside.