Search Results for "insult"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #ad agency, #wise to insult, #monirotity groups, #commercial, #worst thing, #spit on flag, #difficult client list

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THE AD AGENCY: The Boss asks Pete Peters of the Creative Team, "Is it wise to insult all of these minority groups in our commercial?" Pete says to The Boss, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" The Boss asks, "Does our company have to spit on a flag?" Pete says, "That's it; you're on my 'difficult client' list now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #project, #stink of unimportnace, #interns, #board of directors, #insult

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Asok: I finished my project and I'm ready to present it to the board of directors. The Boss: Interns don't speak to the board of directors, Asok. It would be considered an insult. Asok: How is that an insult? The Boss: You have the stink of unimportance.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #answer technical question, #bad actor, #best person, #fake own death, #helping customer, #insult dead, #just a quick question, #polite, #safest course, #work that divison, #commercial sales

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A man says, "Hi, I'm a customer of your commercial sales division." "The man says, "I heard you would be the best person to answer a technical question..." Dilbert says, "I don't work in that division." The man says, "I know. It's just a quick question." Dilbert says, "If I tell you something different from what the commercial division tells you, I'll get in trouble." Dilbert says, "But I'll also get in trouble for not helping a customer." Dilbert says, "My safest course of action is to fake my own death." The man says, "You're a bad actor." Dilbert says, "It isn't polite to insult the dead."

Who Can Insult The Boss

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Who Can Insult The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #payoff, #reward

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Wally: I heard we can insult our boss now? Dilbert: You can't. Alice and I can get away with it because we are hard to replace. Wally: Realistically, there had to be a downside to being useless.

Simplify The Slide

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Simplify The Slide - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #insult, #smart, #dumb, #powerpoint, #guest artist, #joel friday

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Boss: You need to simplify that slide. Dilbert: Did you understand it? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Then why do you think smart people will be confused? Boss: I can't tell if that was an insult. Dilbert: Ask a smart person.

Tina Agrees To Be Work Wife

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Tina Agrees To Be Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #spouse, #wife, #insult, #mean, #game, #obliviousness, #relationships

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Boss: Alice doesn't want to be my work-wife. How about you? Tina; As your work-wife, would I be able to jokingly insult you in front of the others? Boss: Sure, ha ha! Tina: Okay, I'm in. Now run along, you ignorant sack of wet fertilizer. Boss: This is fun!

Dilbert Has Management Potential

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Dilbert Has Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #manager, #honesty, #insult, #obliviousness

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Boss: Our CEO thinks you have management potential. Dilbert: What did I do to deserve that kind of insult??! Boss: He called you a heartless monster. CEO: He speaks truth to power. I like it.

Insulting Within Company Guidelines

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 Insulting Within Company Guidelines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #teach, #insult, #compliment, #function, #guidelines, #co workers, #insult co workers

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DOgbert: I will teach you how to insult your co - workers while staying within company guidelines. The trick is to disguise your insults as compliments. Alice, I admire the way you dress for function over appearance. Alice: Thanks. wait...

You Heard A Rumor

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 You Heard A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #consultaion, #insult, #rumor, #divulge source, #dating pillow, #co - workers

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Dogbert consults Dogbert: Nevre insult your co workers directly. The company would fire you for that. Instead say you heard a rumor but you can't divulge your source. Asok: that feels wrong. Dogbert: Someone told me your dating your pillow.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassed of son, #Family, #food service industry, #insult, #locksmith, #mother, #named project manger, #paying for lunch, #restaurants, #sons occupation, #don't tell freinds

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Mom, the good news I wanted to tell you is that my boss named me project manager. Mom: Please keep that to yourself. I tell my friends you're a locksmith. Dilbert: You're paying for your own lunch. Waiter: I'm Ed. I'll be your project manager.