Search Results for "work independantly"
Share September 09, 2003's comic on:
Wally: "Asok, would you like to join a doomed project for sending internet traffic over the sewer system?" Asok: "Absolutely! I might be young and inexperienced, but I know a good thing when I see it!" Wally: "I need you to work under the sewage and breathe through a straw." Asok: "I get a straw?!!"
Share September 11, 2003's comic on:
Wally: "In only one week my project team has created a time line and identified the resources we need." "Next week, we plan to revise the time line and re-examine our resource needs." "Good work." "There must be a thousand ways to say I haven't done anything." "Wait.."
Share September 17, 2003's comic on:
Dogbert: Would you like to make a hundred million dollars for just showing up at work? Dogbert: My audio lessons teach you how to become an underperforming CEO. $19.95 Step One: become A CEO> Step Two: Be the sort who would buy these audio lessons.
Share September 23, 2003's comic on:
Wally: "Every morning I rank my tasks as A, B, or C priorities." The Boss: "And then you work on the 'A' priorities first?" Wally: "To be honest, after I update the list, there isn't much left in the tank."
Share October 03, 2003's comic on:
Share November 03, 2003's comic on:
"Wally, there have been complaints that you take conference calls from the men's room." "Ok, perhaps I have a few idiosyncrasies, but it's only because I care so much about the work." "No one invited you to those conference calls." "What if I've already finished the newspaper?"
Share November 05, 2003's comic on:
Share November 25, 2003's comic on:
Wally: I'm planning to replace myself with cheap Elbonian labor. Watch this: Turn around and try to describe my appearance. Dilbert: I see glasses...a coffee mug...and thats all, Wally: This will work.
Share December 12, 2003's comic on:
Product Training. Man: You work for a company that takes pride in its product line. Only half of our users experience painful boils. We call that group the "relatively satisfied customers. what the?!
Share December 18, 2003's comic on:
Alice : My strategy is to work like a paranoid beaver during the merger. Surely my productivity will be noticed and rewarded when the downsizing begins, Man: and who is alice? The Boss: Im pretty sure thats the bald guy with glasses.