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You Heard A Rumor

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 You Heard A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #consultaion, #insult, #rumor, #divulge source, #dating pillow, #co - workers

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Dogbert consults Dogbert: Nevre insult your co workers directly. The company would fire you for that. Instead say you heard a rumor but you can't divulge your source. Asok: that feels wrong. Dogbert: Someone told me your dating your pillow.

Laying Down Suppressive Fire

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Laying Down Suppressive Fire   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #rumor, #aspersions, #accusing, #accusation

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Wally: If Ted complains about me not doing my job, keep in mind that he steals from the company. And he only has time for stealing because sometimes he takes time off from all of his lying. Dilbert: What was that all about? Wally: I was laying down suppressive fire.

Listening To Your Gut

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Listening To Your Gut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #rumor, #accusation, #skeptic, #gullible, #gut instinct

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Boss: People tell me you're underperforming. Dilbert: Did you hear it from anyone credible? Boss: No, but I know it's true because my gut tells me it's true. Dilbert: I'm curious where you stick you head to listen to your gut?

False Rumor

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False Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #insult, #backhanded compliment, #liar, #idiot

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Dilbert: Everyone at work thinks I'ma liar because of a false rumor. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, I know you aren't a liar. Dilbert: Thank you. That does help. Dogbert: I see you as more of an idiot. And you're welcome.

Everyone Says Dilbert Lied

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Everyone Says Dilbert Lied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #rumor, #accusation, #conclusions

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Man: Everyone says you moved the server rack and lied about it. Dilbert: Everyone is wrong. It didn't happen. Man: Oh, so it's your word against literally "everyone?" Is that what you're saying? I'll go with the majority on this, thank you very much. Dilbert: I want to like people, but they don't make it easy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #rumor, #conjecture, #karma, #payback

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Boss: I heard that you think I'm making the wrong decision with our technology roadmap. Dilbert: I never said that. Boss: I heard you did. Dilbert: Who told you that? Boss: I promised I wouldn't reveal my source. Dilbert: It never happened. Boss: That's not what I hear. Dilbert: Will the fate of my entire career depend on that rumor? Boss: It already does. Dilbert: Do you ever worry about karma? Boss: Get back to work. Narrator: One hour later. CEO: I hear you're embezzling like crazy. Boss: Who told you that?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #greed, #scavenging, #cannibal, #furniture, #energy, #vibes

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Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?

No Path To Success

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No Path To Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #collusion, #russia, #donald trump, #blame, #accusation, #public opinion

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Alice: I hear you're a corporate spy for our Elbonian competitors. Dilbert: No, that was an unfounded rumor. Alice: That's exactly what guilty people say. Dilbert: I'm not seeing my path to success here.

Dilbert Might Be Colluding

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Dilbert Might Be Colluding  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #collusion, #trump, #russia, #rumor, #conjecture

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CEO: People tell me Dilbert's project is in chaos. Why is that? Boss: Maybe he's been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. But that's just a guess. CEO: I can't unhear that.

Cyborg Rumors

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Cyborg Rumors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cyborg, #robot, #employees, #replacement, #deception

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Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.