Search Results for "broke"
Share October 04, 2010's comic on:
Coworker says, "Alice broke my arm. You need to do something about this." Catbert says, "Okay. I'll compare Alice's economic value to yours and decide who to fire." Coworker says, "No fair! She's an engineer!" Catbert says, "You got beat up by someone who is also better at math?"
Share January 21, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dilbert says, "I joined the 'Scientist Anti-Defamation League.'" Dogbert asks, "What's that?" Dilbert replies, "They fight against the negative stereotypes of technical people that are often portrayed in the media." Dilbert's tie is wrapped around his body, arms and head. Dilbert says, "You broke my concentration."
Share March 12, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk wearing shredded clothing. Dilbert says, "The shredder tried to kill me." Dilbert continues, "First, the coffee machine broke, rendering me inattentive . . ." The Boss asks, "What are you suggesting?" Dilbert replies, "I don't think the shredder acted alone."
Share March 20, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert answers, "Not so good . . . I sneezed and blew the toupee off a vice president's head and into the face of the director of marketing, who fell and broke a rib." Dogbert responds, "Gesundheit."
Share September 26, 1991's comic on:
A man says to Dilbert, "I hope you won't mind my pillow and blanket at your presentation." The man continues, "The last time you presented, I lost consciousness and broke my nose on the table." Dilbert stands in front of a conference table. All of the people at the table are asleep. Dilbert thinks, "Whatever happened to good manners?"
Share July 27, 1994's comic on:
"From now on, twenty percent of your pay will depend on the company meeting its sales targets." "In effect, we'll cut your pay and tell you it's your own darn fault." "Will the sales target be based on a complex formula and involve numbers that can't be accurately measured?" "You broke the code!"
Share May 28, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Why do you waste your time reading books?" Dilbert replies, "Because reading increases my knowledge, and knowledge is POWER." Dogbert says, "But power corrupts . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . And corruption is a crime . . ." Dogbert continues, "And crime doesn't pay . . ." Dogbert's ears fly up and he says, "If you keep reading, you'll go broke!!!" Dilbert stands up and puts the book on the chair. He says, "Gosh! It always seemed so . . . So . . . Harmless." Dogbert says, "Oh yeah, the librarians would LOVE to have you believe that!"
Share September 12, 1996's comic on:
Alice, Dilbert, Wally and the Boss sit around a table. The Boss is sleeping. Alice yells, "It's hopeless! You're losers! We'll never make a sundial out of a pencil and an eaten donut!" The janitor enters the room and says, "Hee hee! All you had to do was stick the pencil in the donut." The janitor lies over the table with the pencil sticking out of his back. Dilbert says, "We just broke all kinds of union rules." Wally says, "But hey! Look at the shadow from the pencil!"
Share November 22, 1996's comic on:
Alice asks Wally, "How do you like your new smoking habit?" Wally replies, "My teeth turned yellow, my breath is putrid, I'm a social outcast, I'm going broke, and my house burned down." Alice asks, "So you're going to quit?" Wally replies, "No, I'm trying to take a long term view of it."
Share January 13, 1997's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Wally says, "This week I did equal amounts of work and anti-work." Wally continues, "For every unit of work I did, I generated an equal amount of unnecessary work for co-workers. I figure I broke even." The Boss says, "Wally, come see me after the staff meeting." Wally replies, "Oh, great. You're driving me into negative territory."